April Fool From R.J. Johnson

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Some April Ticklers

They found donkey meat in hamburgers in South Africa. Actually, you can buy them at a new fast-food place over there, Jackass in the Box.

– We just had St. Patrick’s Day. Jodi Arias got so excited she shot a leprechaun.

– Pres. Obama said when it comes to using drones, he’s no Dick Cheney. Sure, when Dick Cheney wants to hunt Americans he just uses his shotgun.

– Montana is working on a law that would let people take road kill home for dinner. You know the biggest complaint about eating road kill, don’t you? It tastes a little flat.

– Did you see the blizzard in Washington, DC? It’s so white, Republicans thought it was still the Reagan Years.

And Finally….

– This year, people ran the Los Angeles Marathon on St. Patrick’s Day. Or Sinko de Vomit as we like to call it.

 

 

Lookout Caesar! It’s March 15th!

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Caesar ides of marchThe Whole Roman Empire is Laughing at R.J. Johnson’s Ides of March Jokes!

– Pres. Obama said when it comes to drones, he’s no Dick Cheney. Sure, when Dick Cheney wants to shoot an American, he just takes him hunting.

– This month we have St. Patrick’s Day, Spring Break and March Madness all at the same time. We’re going to need a White House bailout just to clean up the vomit.

– H&R Block messed up 600,000 tax returns. And right away Wesley Snipes is yelling, “And they put me in jail?”

– The Chicago medical examiner’s office is posting photos of unclaimed dead bodies on their website so people can help identify them. It’s like eHarmony just cheaper to date.

And finally

– 6,000 dead bloated pigs have been found in a river in China. Or as they call that in North Korea:  soup.

 

 

Hey, It’s March, and….

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Time For Some New Mad Hatter Jokes

By R.J. Johnston

horsemeat

– The owner of a sandwich shop in Philadelphia is adding horse meat to his menu. The Filly Cheese Steak, if I’m not mistaken?

– You know what he uses to make a horse sandwich, don’t you? Thorough Bread.

– The CEO of Yahoo said all the employees had to show up for work in person. There’s no more working at home. The really bad part? They had to tell them on Google.

– I finally got a handle on this whole sequestration thing.

Look at it this way. The government is Lindsay Lohan and we’re the people who sold her car insurance.

– Everyone’s talking about the sequestration. There’s so many cuts, I thought Jodi Arias was dating again.

And finally…

– Donkey meat is showing up in hamburgers in South Africa. You know where they sell them, don’t you? Jackass in the Box.

 

 

Fun With Celebrities, Gas, and Fish

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 Jokes From R.J. Johnson

– An investigation has uncovered that Tiffany engagement rings sold at Costco are fake. And Kim Kardashian was very upset, “Where were these fake rings when I had my fake wedding? Hello?”

– The woman who inherited Jack-in-the-Box, gambled it all away on video poker. It’s so bad, he’s now Jack-in-the-Cardboard Box.

– O.J. Simpson had a Super Bowl party in prison. How’d you like to be on that guest list when O.J.’s cell gets too full and he says, “I have to cut a few people.”

– I love President’s Day. People celebrating their favorite ones like Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Trump. No wait, Trump just thinks he’s President. My mistake.-

My local gas station has a new slogan: Just give me your cash and no one gets hurt.

And fianlly..

– Experts in Sweden say the drugs that end up in our water supply can affect the fish. You’ve heard of cracked crab? Now we have crabs on crack.

 

 

February Cheer From R. J. Johnson

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– Senators are talking about the “Pathway to Citizenship.”

Or as people in Los Angeles call that, the San Diego Freeway.

 

– Did you see those 4,000 passengers on a Carnival Cruise ship with no drinking water? Talk about Marco Rubio’s worst nightmare.

 

– First, Iran sent a monkey into space. Now, it seems North Korea wants to send a dog into space. Not for research. The in-flight meal for their astronauts.

 

– The finance minister in Japan said elderly people should “hurry up and die” to save money on medical expenses. So, it sounds like they have HMOs over there, too.

 

– The police in Memphis found a meth cooker under the bed of a two-year-old girl. Or as they call that in Barstow, central heating.

 

And finally…

 

– According to TMz, OJ Simpson had a Super Bowl party in prison. There’s a guest list you don’t want to get cut from.

T-Rex Barges Into Skylight Books in Hollywood

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T-Rex is Big, He’s Cute, and He’s Trying to Cope With Modern Society

Hugh Murphy and his brother started drawing T-Rex cartoons while doodling on the placemat at a restaurant.  Little did Hugh know what a success Rex would become! When Hugh’s wife started putting the cartoons up on the Tumblr web site, they developed a large following.  This led to the first book of these cartoons, called “T-Rex Trying”, which debuted at Skylight Books Friday February 8, 2013.  If you missed the party, sit back and watch the complete video.  At the end of the presentation is a further slide show of the cartoons, so you are in for plenty of laughs.

Copies of “T-Rex Trying” are available at Skylight Books

Click here to watch the event on youtube:  T-Rex at Skylight

Click on the window below for the embedded version

Contact Skylight for a signed copy of the book “T-Rex Trying”.

 

 

http://trextrying.tumblr.com/

Inbound Jokes – Heads Up!

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More Laughs From R.J. Johnson

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– The Boeing Dreamliner has a new slogan: Is something burning?

– The flu is so bad, I saw Willie Nelson putting Sudafed in his bong water.

– It was so cold, people were flying the Boeing 787 Dreamliner just to feel the warm smoke filling up the cabin.

– Workers in Chicago found 18 human heads at O’Hare Airport. The good news? No fighting over the arm rest.

– Workers at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport found 18 human heads in a box. And they charged each one 10 bucks for a pillow.

– Workers at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport found 18 frozen human heads in a shipping box and their paper work was all messed up. You know why it was messed up, don’t you? They’re numb skulls.

 

 

Gabrielle Bell at Skylight Books

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Alternative Cartoonist and Graphic Novelist Gabrielle Bell reads from 4 of her recent stories at Skylight Books.

Gabrielle Bell was born in Britain but raised in California.  Now living in Brooklyn, NY, she came to Hollywood to promote her new book “The Voyeurs.”  The pretty, lanky, and somewhat shy Ms. Bell presented a slide show of four wonderful, funny stories that have either appeared in her new book or in recent comic collections. When asked about who inspired her, she answered that Joe Frank was a big influence on her.  Most of us who lived in California the last few decades feel the same way: the brilliant Joe Frank touched all of us in his absolutely genius way.  Gabrielle’s charming, thoughtful stories will also touch you. And make you laugh!  Check at Skylight Books, they may still have a few copies of her new book signed, give them a call.  If you missed the event, no problem, Big Fun Video was there to film it for us, just click on the window below!  Thanks Gabrielle for a great fun evening!

Watch full screen on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3MJBfPhBVI or click on window below.

New Yorker Cartoonist Adrian Tomine

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Adrian Tomine Presentation at Skylight Books

Popular graphic artist and New Yorker cartoonist Adrian Tomine came to Hollywood recently and gave a funny slide show of his work that has appeared in the New Yorker magazine.  He also discussed how he got started as a cartoonist with New Yorker and his struggles with balancing work and having time for his new daughter.  After the slide show and questions he signed books, a few copies may still be available at Skylight Books, give them a call to verify.  Big Fun Video was on hand to tape the event, click below to watch the entire slide show, complete with the questions and answers segment.

Watch direct on youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKSy_nTjvIc

or click on window below for embedded version.

The Jokes of January

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The Jokes of January

From R.J. Johnson

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– I saw “Beasts of the Southern Wild.” Not the movie.

The main ingredient in the McRib sandwich.

 

– In Maricopa, Arizona a three-year-old boy saved his mother’s life by waking her up during a fire at their home. Good luck trying to get this kid to go to bed at night. “Remember the flames that didn’t kill you? Hello?”

 

– Politicians are talking about minting a trillion dollar coin so they can continue to spend your tax money. The coin has a simple design. Heads you lose. Tails you lose.

 

– The symptoms of the flu are headaches, nausea, vomiting and telling people you want to just sleep and be left alone. Which is also what Hugh Hefner’s bride told him on their honeymoon, if I’m not mistaken.

And finally…

– KFC apologized to customers in China because of certain chemicals in their chickens that might be a health problem.

On the other hand, we’re still waiting for an apology from China for all that poisoned toothpaste and drywall they sent over here, so things kind of even out.