Tag Archives: O.J. Simpson

Fun With Celebrities, Gas, and Fish

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 Jokes From R.J. Johnson

– An investigation has uncovered that Tiffany engagement rings sold at Costco are fake. And Kim Kardashian was very upset, “Where were these fake rings when I had my fake wedding? Hello?”

– The woman who inherited Jack-in-the-Box, gambled it all away on video poker. It’s so bad, he’s now Jack-in-the-Cardboard Box.

– O.J. Simpson had a Super Bowl party in prison. How’d you like to be on that guest list when O.J.’s cell gets too full and he says, “I have to cut a few people.”

– I love President’s Day. People celebrating their favorite ones like Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Trump. No wait, Trump just thinks he’s President. My mistake.-

My local gas station has a new slogan: Just give me your cash and no one gets hurt.

And fianlly..

– Experts in Sweden say the drugs that end up in our water supply can affect the fish. You’ve heard of cracked crab? Now we have crabs on crack.

 

 

February Cheer From R. J. Johnson

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– Senators are talking about the “Pathway to Citizenship.”

Or as people in Los Angeles call that, the San Diego Freeway.

 

– Did you see those 4,000 passengers on a Carnival Cruise ship with no drinking water? Talk about Marco Rubio’s worst nightmare.

 

– First, Iran sent a monkey into space. Now, it seems North Korea wants to send a dog into space. Not for research. The in-flight meal for their astronauts.

 

– The finance minister in Japan said elderly people should “hurry up and die” to save money on medical expenses. So, it sounds like they have HMOs over there, too.

 

– The police in Memphis found a meth cooker under the bed of a two-year-old girl. Or as they call that in Barstow, central heating.

 

And finally…

 

– According to TMz, OJ Simpson had a Super Bowl party in prison. There’s a guest list you don’t want to get cut from.