Jokes From R.J. Johnson

– An investigation has uncovered that Tiffany engagement rings sold at Costco are fake. And Kim Kardashian was very upset, “Where were these fake rings when I had my fake wedding? Hello?”

– The woman who inherited Jack-in-the-Box, gambled it all away on video poker. It’s so bad, he’s now Jack-in-the-Cardboard Box.

– O.J. Simpson had a Super Bowl party in prison. How’d you like to be on that guest list when O.J.’s cell gets too full and he says, “I have to cut a few people.”

– I love President’s Day. People celebrating their favorite ones like Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, Trump. No wait, Trump just thinks he’s President. My mistake.-

My local gas station has a new slogan: Just give me your cash and no one gets hurt.

And fianlly..

– Experts in Sweden say the drugs that end up in our water supply can affect the fish. You’ve heard of cracked crab? Now we have crabs on crack.