Chinese Spy Blimps Capture Musk’s Mars Rocket!
Escape Over Long Beach Towing American Craft
A fleet of Communist Chinese spy ships disguised as Goodyear Blimps have successfully completed their mission of hijacking Elon Musk’s Prototype Mars Rocket and are now towing it to an underground base near Beijing, China. It is well known by U.S. Intelligence that the Commies are jealous of America’s No 1 Genius and are bound and determined to beat America to Mars.
“The Red Planet will soon belong to Red China”. said Shag Soon Joy, the Press Officer of the Chinese Rocket Bureau. “China needs more space for farmland and to build fabulous casinos. With Musk’s rocket ship, we will fulfill our dreams,” he said.
Meanwhile, Musk, contacted at his office at Twitter headquarters, reportedly flew into a rage when he heard about the stealth attack. “That’s the last straw,” he screamed. “I’m moving my entire Tesla manufacturing to Taiwan, NOW.”
It is always unwise to cross Musk, as he holds all the secrets of Nikola Tesla, including the fantastic weapons of hybrid warfare. It is rumored that Musk has given China 24 hours to return his rocket ship or he will destroy half of China with massive earthquakes. The great scientist Tesla invented a small machine that puts out a powerful audio vibration that will act like a tuning fork, causing a massive earthquake that could potentially destroy China’s entire manufacturing province. “Their electric vehicle battery market will downturn if they don’t return Musk’s rocket ship,” said an anonymous source at Twitter. “My advice to the Chinese” said a Tesla press officer, “is to comply with Mr. Musk’s order. And next time you want to steal a rocket ship go steal one from Bezos – he’s a wuss Maybe he’ll throw in a subscription to the Washington Post.”