President Trump to Rename All Street “BUMPs” to “TRUMP”!

All “Bumps” to be renamed.

President Trump’s first Executive Order is to rename all painted “Bump” warnings on streets across California to say “TRUMP”.  The President, in response to questions from the fake news media, said that his name in itself has become an international warning, so it makes sense to  rename all  “BUMPs” to “TRUMP”.  “My name is now used to warn people of an urgent event that they had better pay attention to.  When you see the word “TRUMP” painted on the street, then SLOW DOWN, or else!!!  Trump also claimed that if the word TRUMP was painted  on streets in rural areas that it would “scare off” any fire.  No fire will ever dare to burn near my name,” he exclaimed.  He has given California Governor Gavin Newsom 30 days to make the changes, or he will be removed as Governor under a new Executive Order.

Gov. Newsom was seen in his garage, hastily assembling paint brushes and looking for his credit card in order to buy a large quantity of paint.  He refused to talk to reporters about the matter, screaming “Can’t you see I’m busy?”  When asked why the State of California did not have enough money to buy the paint needed for this mammoth job, the Governor said the State was broke and that  he “would be looking into the matter.”

“I’m going to get to the bottom of this,” he yelled, his crack voice cracking.