Trump’s New Executive Order Affects Millions of Streets

President Trump to Rename All Street “BUMPs” to “TRUMP”!

All “Bumps” to be renamed.

President Trump’s first Executive Order is to rename all painted “Bump” warnings on streets across California to say “TRUMP”.  The President, in response to questions from the fake news media, said that his name in itself has become an international warning, so it makes sense to  rename all  “BUMPs” to “TRUMP”.  “My name is now used to warn people of an urgent event that they had better pay attention to.  When you see the word “TRUMP” painted on the street, then SLOW DOWN, or else!!!  Trump also claimed that if the word TRUMP was painted  on streets in rural areas that it would “scare off” any fire.  No fire will ever dare to burn near my name,” he exclaimed.  He has given California Governor Gavin Newsom 30 days to make the changes, or he will be removed as Governor under a new Executive Order.

Gov. Newsom was seen in his garage, hastily assembling paint brushes and looking for his credit card in order to buy a large quantity of paint.  He refused to talk to reporters about the matter, screaming “Can’t you see I’m busy?”  When asked why the State of California did not have enough money to buy the paint needed for this mammoth job, the Governor said the State was broke and that  he “would be looking into the matter.”

“I’m going to get to the bottom of this,” he yelled, his crack voice cracking.

Illuminati and Masonic Orders Outraged by Ban on Secret Handshakes

California Bans “Handshake” and Personal Contact Triggering Revolt of Secret Societies Who Communicate With Secret Handshakes.

California’s would-be tin-horn dictator has managed to outrage all of the 700 Secret Societies operating in the State.  Most of these secret orders go back hundreds, if not thousands of years.  The “secret handshake” is the way the groups tell each other who they are, and communicate hidden messages that outsiders cannot observe.

Mr. John Wong, (not his real name) the current leader of the Chinese Illuminist and Free and Mostly Accepted Asian Masonic groups, was recently contacted at his import/export business in China.  “Anyone who interferes with our traditions and secret operations is considered an enemy” he said.  “Gov. Newsom thinks he can control humanity and disrupt our power by the phony “Social Distance” edicts he spews out.  We have contacted our fellow secret orders in California and around the world and we will soon respond to this attack on our traditions,” he said.  Many other occult groups have been ignoring Newsom’s edicts and are meeting behind closed doors to formulate their strategy.

One long time occultist, a member of the Sons of the Real Bavarian Illuminati located in Napa, California said that secret societies operate in the shadows, but exert much control of the visible world, like the courts, business, libraries, etc.  By shuttering all State and Local government meetings, libraries, open courts and most businesses, Newsom has been choking the life out of the entire society.  The occult groups find most of their activities blocked, and are now going to extreme underground techniques to survive.  The occult groups have set up their own secret “Zoom” type meetings and are making plans to wrest back control of their life and activities from the power mad Newsom.