Say What? No More Nudes in Playboy?

Ed Murray Channels Al Goldstein Looking For Answers

by Ed Murray

Dateline: Holmby Hills

Hugh Hefner

Hugh Hefner

Please don’t say you aren’t shocked.  Playboy Magazine has announced a big make-over of the magazine, including the removal of pictures of nude ladies from the pages of the famous man’s mag.  These changes are set to take place in the March, 2016 issue.  Since Playboy began, it made its mark on society, and made founder Hugh Hefner a fortune.  The big thing that attracted a following over the years has been the nude centerfold.  If you think that millions of men bought the magazine just to read the articles, then you are seriously deluded.  The probable reason that Hefner put some articles and written material in the magazine was that he had to.  In the 1950’s publishing “porn” or magazines with only nudes was risky.  Various state and local authorities were prosecuting publishers for publishing magazines that “had no socially redeeming value.”  Hence the publishers covered themselves with news, fiction, fashion, or other articles.  Things are a little different now,  a lot of porn has moved to the internet or dvd rentals.

But I wanted to get to the bottom of the Playboy announcement.  The magazine has seen its circulation fall the last few years.  The magazine, always a little elitist, has failed to make big gains with a younger crowd, especially with working class and middle class men.  Totally removing the nudes from the magazine seemes like they are going in the wrong direction.  After all, if you want “good” articles, why not read Atlantic, or the New York Review of Books?

Al Goldstein

Al Goldstein

The one man who could give me answers to that is dead: porn publisher Al Goldstein.  He was the King for a while, publishing the sleazy, irreverent Screw magazine and running various other enterprises.  He was always in Court, fighting for freedom of speech and freedom of expression.  So I thought I would contact him on the other side.  Get some answers from the guy who knows what’s happening.

 

…Glass of wine…..

…(Self-Hypnotic Trance)…..

…glass of wine….

….Trance…Taking hold…..

Murray:  Hello, Al?  Al Goldstein?

Goldstein:  Yeah, I’m here.  How are ya, you old putz?

Murray:  OK, Al.  I hate to bother you, ….you must be busy or something.

Goldstein.  Yeah, but it’s not what you think, in fact not what anyone could ever think.

Murray:  What do you mean?  Like where are you now?  If you can say?

Goldstein:  Right now I’m down in the hot place, but actually the way things worked out I divide my time between the two places..

Murray:  Huh?  How’s that possible?  I’ve never heard of that before.

Goldstein:  Well, I got sent down here for a light sentence because of some bad things I did.

Murray:  You mean some of the Porn stuff?

Goldstein:  Naw, some other f*cking stuff.  So I have to spend four hours every day going to a beginner’s Sunday School.  And me a Jew.  I’m f*cking outraged.

Murray:  I imagine it could be worse, I mean sitting in a Sunday School class isn’t too bad, is it?

Goldstein:  It is if your sentence is 30,000 years of the sh*t.

Murray:  Well, what about the rest of the day?

Goldstein:  The other half of my time I work up top with the good guys.  It’s a big universe, and I’ve actually been appointed a kind of Porn Angel, so to speak.

Murray:  Porn Angel?

Goldstein:  Yeah, well there’s a lot of solar systems in the universe, a lot of planets and a lot of weird people.  Some of the races on other planets have declining populations, and they needed someone to spur them on, give ’em LUST, get them f*cking again.  I’m an expert on that, so they hired me.

Murray:  Wow.  Sounds like you are able to continue your career.

Goldstein:  Yeah, but the downside is that I can’t participate, you know, I don’t have a physical body anymore.  In fact, I’m not entirely sure who I’m working for at this job.  I’d give my left nut to have a dick again…..

Murray:  I see your point.  Hey, the reason for the call is about the new announcement from Playboy magazine.  Have you heard about it?

Goldstein:  Yeah, I hear about everything.  There’s always hordes of new jerks inbound here, we pick up rumors pretty fast.

Murray:  So what is it, Al?  Is the staff of Playboy all gay now?

Goldstein:  Naw, and those schmucks don’t have a creative drop of jizz in their bodies.  This decision is coming right from Hef.

Murray:  What?  Hef?

Feminist Dworkin

Feminist Dworkin

Goldstein:  Well, sort of.  Do you remember that radical feminist Andrea Dworkin from the 80s and 90s? She was a big fat woman

Murray:  Yeah, the anti-porn crusader.

Goldstein:  That’s the one.  Well, Hef is weak.  I mean the old f*ck is really weak.  When you get down like that, you’re susceptible to a walk-in.

 

Murray:  A walk-in?

Goldsteirn:  Yeah, that Andrea woman is a spirit now, she saw that Hef was weak, his defenses down, so she moved right into his body.

Murray:  Is that possible?

Goldstein: F*ckin right it’s possible.  She’s now Hef, controlling him.  She’s havin’ a f*ckin ball, makin’ him into a laughing stock, taking the nudes out of the mag.  He’s so weak that his last few girlfriends said that all he does at night is cuddle with his dog and watch old fifties movies.  He’s done.  And Andrea is getting her putrid rocks off,- getting her feminist revenge on all the men.  What a country….

Murray:  Al, I have to think about this, maybe with a sixpack.  This is depressing news.

Goldstein:  Well, Ed, as I have said many times, F*CK YOU, F*CK HEF, F*CK ANDREA, in fact,

F*CK EVERYBODY!  HOPE TO SEE ALL YOU JERKS REAL SOON!

Murray: Al, this time I really mean it:  Sorry I asked….

Goldstein:  Uh, yeah, gotto go, Sunday School class starting in a few minutes……

 

edmurray1955@aol.com

 

Report From Comikaze

Bill Nelson Reports Some High Strangeness at the Recent Comic Event

Last weekends Comikazie was to say the least quite interesting. The convention promoters boasted fifty thousand people in attendance. Well, yes, they were able attract a lot people to the convention center, but I don’t think it was close to that number. The people that did come were an army of looky loos. It was mostly kids in elaborate and clever costumes playfully mugging for camera phones. Many of them liked viewing the vintage collectibles, but had no money to buy them. So for us at the Oddball Books booth, it was a little on the slow side. However, we had a plentiful supply of bud lights, rum cokes and cheez-its as well as Maria, Barbara and the Coop Devil Girls as company.

Bill at Comikazie

Stan Lee cologne

Sadly, I didn’t manage to get anything signed or meet the legendary creator of Spiderman. Because Stan Lee is getting up there in years, he was only there for a few hours a day and sixty bucks for his signature was a major factor in motivating me NOT to stand in his signing line. However, I did pop by is his perfume booth. Gez, you can smell like a comic dealer or worse a ninety year old man…….

barris hot rod

What can I say….. The George Barris coolish-ghoulish MASTERPIECE on display!

Richard Anderson

Richard Anderson who played the character Oscar Goldman in both the Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman television series was so happy to see his doll when I brought it to him for his signature that I thought he was going to start cradling it.

Mortica

A pretty good Moriticia, but lousy Gomez.

 nichelle nichols

Funny, when I met Nichelle Nichols she didn’t look like that….

I only got to one panel discussion. It was on the Grindhouse Film Festival hosted by Eric Caidin owner of The Hollywood Book and Poster Shop. It’s a monthly 60s- 80’s exploitation film fest at the New Beverly theatre. They show tons of rare over the top, blood and guts flics, mostly from 35 mm film prints and many from the Quentin Tarantino collection. For more information and to get on their email list, check out Eric’s web site.

Posted by Bill Nelson

Comic Titans of Television

Richard Kramer and Peter Mehlman Talk About Writing Comedy for Television

A lively audience packed into Book Soup in Hollywood recently to meet and listen to two of Hollywood’s big names in television comedy. Richard Kramer and Peter Mehlman not only read from their new books, but took turns in a wide-ranging discussion of television, comedy, and writing, engaging the audience in a marathon session that could serve as a self-contained college course on the subjects covered. If you missed the event, no problem, just click on the window below to view the unedited presentation, over 2 hours long. Also, follow the links below to get signed copies of their books and visit their websites.

Click Here to watch directly on youtube.

TheseThingsHappen-cvr-thumbClick Here to buy their books from Book Soup .Please support this great Independent Book Store. The internet discounters do not ever give the authors the love and kindness that they get from Book Soup. These educational and fun events allow you to personally meet up with the great authors of today and interact with them. Plus, get a signed copy as a gift for a friend!

 

Click Here to go to Richard Kramer’s website.

MANDELA-WAS-LATE-front-coverClick Here to go to Peter Mehlman’s website.



Summer Fun

Have a Chuckle and Forget That Heat Rash

Summer Jokes from R.J. Johnson

 

– People in New York are paying $180 for a bird poop facial. Or they can just stand under a statue in Central Park for free.

– MTV is producing a reality show about a group of virgins who may or may not have sex. Or as we used to call that, Prom Night.

– Paula Dean turned down “Dancing With the Stars.” But she has a new show, “How I Met Yo Mama.”

In London they found a 15 ton blob of congealed fat in a sewer pipe. Or as English cooks call that, the all-you-can-eat buffet.

– The guy and girl from the popular country group The Civil Wars broke up and they are so angry The Civil Wars aren’t even talking to each other. The really bad news? They’re starting a new group. The Vietnam.

– A man in South Africa saved his dog first before swimming back to save his wife after their yacht sank in the ocean. Actually, they have a name for married men who do that: Celibate.

– Mexico has gone ahead of the U.S. when it comes to having the most obese people in the world. And they’ve already declared a day of celebration: Sinko de Fatso

– Netflix has a new TV series called “Orange is the New Black.” Sounds more like a John Boehner rap album, doesn’t it?

– According to Variety, Apple is coming out with a device that will skip over TV commercials. Don’t we already have that? It’s called a bathroom, right?

– Liz Cheney is running for the Senate in Wyoming against another Republican named Sen. Michael Enzi. They’ve agreed to three debates, two press conferences and one hunting trip.

And finally…

A man in Tennessee is suing Apple Computers.  He said the company causes a porn addiction, sexual arousal and drives men to prostitution. The good news for the guy? He’s now legally eligible to run for any office he wants in New York City.

 

Templar The Graphic Novel

Jordan Mechner at Skylight Books for Reading and Discussion

Jordan_MechnerA hot topic for the last decade or so has been the times and events surrounding the legendary group of knights from the days of the Crusades, called the Knights Templar.  This religious and military order first started as guardians to those going to the Holy Land during the Crusades.  Over the years it evolved into a much larger and more powerful organization.  The Templars spread over Europe, and became the first “bankers”, transferring money, safeguarding gold and silver, and loaning money, something that only Jews and Lombards could do at the time.  Since the Templars were authorized by the Church and the Pope, they operated in many lands and crossed the borders of all European states.  Its members were from the noble families of Europe, men who took a vow of poverty to serve Christ and Christians as Knights of the Temple.

Templar book coverMany fascinating books have come from exploring this era, including “Holy Blood, Holy Grail”, and many others from authors including best-selling author Dan Brown.  Spinning a story based on the real Templars, Jordan Mechner has brought the era to the graphic novel with his two artist co-authors LeUyen Pham and Alex Puvilland in a 480 page color book.  Here’s the story synopsis:

Martin is one of a handful of Templar Knights to escape when the King of France and the Pope conspire to destroy the noble order. The King aims to frame the Templars for heresy, execute all of them, and make off with their legendary treasure. That’s the plan, anyway, but Martin and several other surviving knights mount a counter-campaign to regain the lost treasure of the Knights Templar.

To watch the video of the Discussion on youtube directly click here.

Or click on the window below to see the video:


For a signed copy of Templar, go to www.SkylightBooks.com, or better yet, stop by the store in person.

Lift the June Gloom with jokes from R.J. Johnson

June Gloom Be Gone

by R.J. Johnson

– There are now dating sites for Star Trek fans. Their favorite pick-up line? “Your parent’s basement or mine?”

– On the news, they said prisoners ask O.J. Simpson to negotiate problems between the prison gangs. And if there’s one guy who knows how to talk to a bunch of cut throats, it’s O.J. Simpson.

– Pres. Obama warned Americans that materials on the Internet can influence people to commit terrorist acts. And people on Craig’s List were shocked. “All the STDs aren’t bad enough? Now this?”

– ABC has a new series called “Mistresses.” I like the original title better: “Hawaii Five-Ho.”

And…

– Scientists say they’ve found the plant disease that caused the great potato famine in Ireland in 1845. And just in time.

Those people have got to be really hungry.

 

 

 

Gravity Wins Over Little Dozer

Little Dozer Gets Stuck in a Hole and……

hey, the fence is supposed to stay!  Watch the little dozer take out about 20 feet of wooden fencing before flipping and crashing on it’s side.  The driver was a lucky guy.  And since it landed in someone else’s parking lot, the boys had to flip it back right-side up.  Building a swimming pool is sure a lot of fun!

Gilbert Hernandez – “How I Got Started In Comics”

Gilbert Hernandez Discusses the Comics and Artists Who Influenced Him

Love and Rockets Brothers At Skylight Book Shop in Hollywood!

 

DSC_1035 Gil and Marble bookBeloved cartoonist Gilbert Hernandez (LOVE & ROCKETS) launched his new D+Q graphic novel MARBLE SEASON, at Skylight Bookshop in Hollywood to a packed room of his fans and comic readers. Hernandez presented a fascinating slide show “From Funnybooks to Graphic Novels” featuring the comics of his childhood.  In addition, there was a question and answer session with fans and a book signing. (Some signed copies may still be available at Skylight).  The silver age comics he read as a child not only influenced MARBLE SEASON, but also set the course for Gilbert, as well as his brothers Jaime and Mario, to become the legendary comics creators they are today.

Marble Season is his first graphic novel for Drawn & Quarterly

MARBLE SEASON is the first ever semi-autobiographical novel by acclaimed cartoonist 200px-LoveAndRockets31Gilbert Hernandez of Love & Rockets, and is also his first graphic novel for Drawn & Quarterly. Meet Huey. He’s the middle child of a big family, growing up in a California suburb in the 1960s. He stages Captain America plays in the backyard and treasures his older brother’s comic-book collection almost as much as his approval. Set against the golden age of the American dream and the silver age of comics, MARBLE SEASON is a subtle and deft rumination on the redemptive and timeless power of storytelling and world-building in childhood.

“Perhaps no other current creators of comics recognize (or vividly remember) the ways actual kids think, talk, or even stand and walk as accurately as the Hernandez brothers, and no other comics artists so delicately intertwine moments of childhood trauma with the goofy logic that otherwise sustains kids when they begin to sense that they live in an irrational world.”—from the afterword by Corey Creekmur

“Gilbert Hernandez is one of the great craftsmen of modern comics.”—New York Times

Praise for Palomar: “These deeply influential tales, a sort of Archie-comics-meets-Marquez melange of complicated pan-American inter-relationships, are a comix epic.”—Time

Praise for Gilbert Hernandez: “He…[should]…be considered one of the greatest American storytellers. It’s so hard to do funny, tragic, local and epic, and he does all simultaneously, and with great aplomb.”—Junot Diaz, Los Angeles TIMES

Click here to see video on youtube.

Click here to go to Skylight Books to get a signed copy.

Or watch the embedded video below: