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Biden to Appoint Trump Ambassador to North Korea

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Kim Jong Un Ecstatic to Work With His Old Friend

Chinese Communists in Turmoil Over News

Rumors are swirling around Washington, D.C.’s homeless community that President Joe Biden is set to appoint former President Donald Trump as Ambassador to North Korea.  Biden is thought to have said that Kim Jong Un would be pleased to be able to work with his old friend once again.

Professor Vladamir Spookofsky, of the famed Global Institute of Geopolitical Studies in Basil, Switzerland, said that Biden’s appointment accomplishes two main goals:  “First, it gets Trump off the Mainland and out of Biden’s thinning hairline.  Second, it will shock the Chinese and put the fear in the CCP that North Korea could become an economic powerhouse to rival China under Trump’s magic touch,”  said the Professor.

Trump before (L) and after (R) receiving news of his appointment as Ambassador

Former President Trump has in the past made many comments on the endless possibilities in North Korea.  His staff has mentioned how excited Trump would get talking about opening golf courses and creating a huge group of luxury gambling casinos along North Korea’s eastern seaboard.  Being in daily contact with Chairman Kim will give Trump a chance to pitch him on the possibilities of Kim joining Trump to make billions of dollars on such projects.  Trump has also floated the idea of sticking his thump into Hollywood’s eye and starting an Asian Beauty Contest that will stomp the now dying Miss World debacle.

Kim Jong Un and his cabinet of yes men.

Meanwhile, Kim Jong Un is rumored to be getting a tremendous welcome for Trump’s return to North Korea.  Kim and Trump have a timeless bond, said to be twin brothers in past lives, and these two powerhouses will most likely change the face of Asia.  The Chinese Communists, meanwhile, see the handwriting on the wall, and are packing their bags and reserving seats on their next rocket to the moon.

Illuminati and Masonic Orders Outraged by Ban on Secret Handshakes

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California Bans “Handshake” and Personal Contact Triggering Revolt of Secret Societies Who Communicate With Secret Handshakes.

California’s would-be tin-horn dictator has managed to outrage all of the 700 Secret Societies operating in the State.  Most of these secret orders go back hundreds, if not thousands of years.  The “secret handshake” is the way the groups tell each other who they are, and communicate hidden messages that outsiders cannot observe.

Mr. John Wong, (not his real name) the current leader of the Chinese Illuminist and Free and Mostly Accepted Asian Masonic groups, was recently contacted at his import/export business in China.  “Anyone who interferes with our traditions and secret operations is considered an enemy” he said.  “Gov. Newsom thinks he can control humanity and disrupt our power by the phony “Social Distance” edicts he spews out.  We have contacted our fellow secret orders in California and around the world and we will soon respond to this attack on our traditions,” he said.  Many other occult groups have been ignoring Newsom’s edicts and are meeting behind closed doors to formulate their strategy.

One long time occultist, a member of the Sons of the Real Bavarian Illuminati located in Napa, California said that secret societies operate in the shadows, but exert much control of the visible world, like the courts, business, libraries, etc.  By shuttering all State and Local government meetings, libraries, open courts and most businesses, Newsom has been choking the life out of the entire society.  The occult groups find most of their activities blocked, and are now going to extreme underground techniques to survive.  The occult groups have set up their own secret “Zoom” type meetings and are making plans to wrest back control of their life and activities from the power mad Newsom.

 

Unknown Bag Head Says Comedy Is Dead

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The Serbian Brown Grocery Bag Guy Says “The Pandemic Has Killed Comedy”

The Unknown Bag Head Has a Beef

“Please, say something funny” is written in black ink on his paper bag face, a philosophical tattoo screaming for help.  The Unknown (and Unknowable) Serbian, who, it is whispered, has comedic constipation, and hasn’t laughed since the Pandemic began in March of this year. “I’m embarrassed to be a human, that’s why I put on the Bag.”

“The dreaded Rhona killed comedy, with a lot of help from our Governor and our local health bureaucrats” he said.  “It wasn’t exactly the virus, it was our reaction to it.  All the fun things in life were closed down: Disneyland, the Comedy Clubs, the Magic Castle, the Movie Theaters, the Play Houses, the Coffee Houses, everything.  Gone with the snap of the finger of a deranged politician in Sacramento, and his little lackey in L.A. City Hall.  This is the Cultural Apocalypse.”

So what’s left?  With Leno gone, it’s just a couple of cardboard comedians on late night and young punks on SNL who tell Trump jokes 24/7.  They’ve all lost their sense of humor.  Trump is not even real, he is a hologram created by an Alien Intelligence who is determined to destroy humor and replace it with a 1984 style authoritarian government where laughing will be punished with fines, and telling a joke will land you in jail or picking up trash around homeless camps.

This conspiracy is obvious, so in your face, or in this case, so in your paper bag head, that who can deny it?  Consider this:

–To prevent even a smile, everyone must wear a mask.  You would never know if the guy passing you on the street is smiling.

–Wearing a mask means even if you laugh it is muffled and nobody will hear you.

–Keeping Social Distance of 6 feet prevents humans from making funny comments about others, telling little jokes about things.

–The Lock Down, like in a prison, prevents men from gathering anywhere, and all venues, clubs, even parks, are closed down.  If you are caught with others not in your immediate family, you can be cited.  Things will escalate, soon you will be beaten to a pulp and eaten by aliens for that transgression.

–Gavin Newsom is an Alien-Human Hybrid.  His relative Nance Pelosi is over 600 years old, and is known to live on a diet of parakeets and centipede legs.

–The Aliens are the only ones laughing.  Those pencil-necked geeks are howling, screaming belly laughs at the things they are getting humans to do.  They really got off when they created the first toilet paper shortage.  Humans fighting over the rolls in markets, stocking up hundreds of packs in their garages.  These Aliens don’t defecate themselves, their systems are different, so humans dealing with toilet paper is hilarious to them.

–Every week they announce a different product shortage, then howl as they watch humans scramble around to stock up, or be emotionally racked up when they can’t get enough of something like taco sauce. Humans wait in lines at markets for hours, griping and grousing.  A double-knee slapper for the ETs.

–The final Takeover is coming soon.  It may be the vaccine, or something in it.  Something will happen, humans will start mimicking apes and walking on all fours, or crawling around on their backs, throwing the Aliens into apoplectic laughter.

–The Unknown Bag Man says the only solution is to throw off your mask and Say Something Funny, make a joke about THEM, humiliate those ugly critters and they will scurry back to their own planet. The Unknown Bag Head has discovered that these ETs cannot take a joke that is directed at them!  Make fun of them and they are done.   Only then can an Army of Humans march on Sacramento, grab the Hybrid Newsom, put him in a hot air balloon and send him toward the Arctic wearing shorts and a Tommy Bahamas shirt.

 

World Famous Swami Says Joe Biden Will Never Finish Term

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Swami Anaconda Bananarama Makes Startling Predictions For 2021

 

Swami Anaconda Bananarama Predicts
The World Famous Swami, author of several metaphysical and philosophical books, has issued his predictions for the year 2021. Some of the revelations will be shocking to the general public, but the Swami holds nothing back. As he has said many times in his lectures and teachings, “Why?”. He has also stated “Why Not?”

 

The Swami Bananarama (pronounced “Ba-na-na-Ra-ma”) received his training in secretive Hindoo Temples located in the misty mountains of the Hindoo Kush. It was there, in 1932, that he studied intensely under the master of the unknown, the Great Swami Kudabux, world renowned for walking on hot coals and fire pits. Kudabux, a master magician, as well as a student of the occult, imparted much wisdom to Swami Bananarama. “Not only was he my best student, but he was my only student. He survived the 3 year trip up the mountains of the Himalayas to my secret Temple. On this trip 72 Sherpas died of various falls and frostbites. Bananas – his nickname at the Monastery – was a survivor and a man filled with courage. He made it by guzzling enormous quantities of Sherpa tea made from distilled Scotch Whiskey and the ground balls of Himalayan baby Rams. It fortified him, and why not?” he said.

Here are the startling predictions from Swami Bananarama for the next year:

1.   Presidential nominee Joe Biden will never finish his term of office. He will move to Muncie, Indiana and pursue a career he has dreamed about his entire life: driving an Ice Cream Truck.

2.  The U.S. Dollar will suffer a complete collapse in 2021, as the government has printed so much money that it is basically worthless. Bitcoin will become the new official currency of the United States. And why not?

3.  The so-called virus Covid 19 will eventually kill everyone over the age of 10 in the United States. Washington DC will be empty, but on the bright side, playgrounds will be packed.

4.  Mark Zuckerberg will be exposed as an Alien-Human Hybrid, placed in one of Elon Musk’s new rockets and shot back into outer space. He will, however, be allowed to keep his twitter account to pass the time and argue with Donald Trump.

5.  “Mr. Novak” an old television show about a high school teacher in Los Angeles, will become the most popular show in television history. Since the Rona virus closed down schools forever, the TV show gives kids a nostalgic look at how things used to be. And as we know, the most important thing is to be, and to have been.

6.  The new Harris Administration will pass a law that all citizens must have an M-98 mask surgically and permanently sewn on their face. No mouths, from whence the dreaded Rhona spews out, will ever be seen again. A lawsuit will be filed by the Dental Association, asking for 200 billion bitcoins in damages.

7.  Comedy clubs will file for bankruptcy. Humor cannot be expressed without wild laughing and hooting, so a masked audience of muffled grunts will lead to a shut down of comedy as a useless annoyance. “Why bother to Laugh?” will say President Harris. Swami Bananarama agrees, and adds also “Why bother to Fart?”

8.  California’s new Bullet Train to Nowhere will become a tremendous hit. It will run from Los Angeles to Napa, stopping at Gov. Gavin Newsom’s Plumpjack Winery, where free wine and French Bread will be served. Social distancing will be temporarily suspended for this event.

9.  Current VP Mike Pence will return to Indiana and become a Truant Officer. He will arrest Ice Cream peddler Joe Biden for “abnormal and frequent” sniffing of the hair of young girls.

10.  At the end of 2021, the last of 30,425 vote recounts in Michigan will re-instate Donald Trump as President, allowing him to return to the White House from the Senior Care Asylum where he has been held.

Haunted Big Foot Toy Terrorizes Seattle Family

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Old BigFoot Toy Is Not Only Psychic But Walks Around The House At Night While Family Is Asleep!

When Mr. & Mrs. Beauregard Stickpan of Seattle went shopping at a local thrift store for a few toys for their 9 year old son to play with while at home due to the “Rona” pandemic, they had no clue as to the nightmare that awaited them.

“Our son, Butch, spotted this old toy, a plastic figure of a Bigfoot,” said Mrs. Stickpan.  “He watches all these shows on TV and his computer and is fascinated by the Bigfoot legend.  He really flipped out over this toy, so we bought it for him.”

The Stickpans took the toy home and let Butch place it in a prominent position on his small bookcase.  That very night is when the horror began.  “In the middle of the night, Butch started screaming out,” said Mrs. Stickpan.  “We rushed into his room and found our terrified child hiding under his bed.  He told us that the Bigfoot Statue was making loud grunting sounds at him.  My husband inspected the toy,, which is just plastic, and told Butch that the toy has no way to talk, it is just a plain old plastic toy. Mrs. Stickpan told her son that maybe what he had heard was just his father snoring in the next room.

“But that didn’t satisfy Butch,” she said.  “He absolutely refused to get back into bed with the toy in his room, so my husband Bo took it into the living room and put it on the mantle.  Little Butch went to sleep and everything was fine for the rest of the night.”

The very next morning, Mrs. Stickpan was in her small kitchen making breakfast, when she noticed something on the floor.  Leaning down, she saw tiny footprints all over her kitchen floor.  “I followed the footprints and they went back into the living room and stopped at the mantle where the Bigfoot toy was,” she said.  “Evidently, the Bigfoot was prowling around the house that night, and went into the kitchen, where he stepped into the cat’s food dish and got some of the mushy cat food on his feet, which he then tracked around the house and back to his place on the mantle.”

Photograph of actual Bigfoot prints found on kitchen floor.

The thought of this plastic toy coming alive at night and wandering about the house was terrifying.  She was afraid to go near it, and asked her husband to throw it out.  Bo agreed to get rid of the toy before the next trash pick-up, even though his son Butch liked to sit in the living room and stare at the toy for hours.

A few nights later, another amazing incident occurred, this time to husband Beauregard “Bo” Stickpan.  While deep asleep, Mr. Stickpan started to have a lucid dream.  The Bigfoot appeared to him in his dream, demanding that he get up and go into the living room, as the Bigfoot had something to say to him.  Mr. Stickpan got out of bed, and walked into the living room, standing before the mantle where the Bigfoot had been placed. Meanwhile,  Mrs. Stickpan suddenly woke up and noticed that her husband was gone.  She pulled herself out of bed and after determining that Bo was not in the bathroom discharging some of the six pack of beer he had guzzled earlier in the evening, she eventually found him standing in the living room in front of the Bigfoot toy, in a hypnotic state.

At that moment, Mrs. Stickpan, heard a loud noise outside.  She glanced out the window and saw a man trying to steal the tire off their 1990 Ford pick-up truck. She shook Bo and screamed at him to wake up.  “Someone is stealing our tire,” she shouted.  Bo woke up from his hypnotic state and ran outside, chasing away the tire thief.

The Bigfoot toy had evidently noticed the thief through the window, and had been trying to communicate with Bo via Psychic mental telepathy.  “The Bigfoot woke me up and was trying to tell me to look out the window,” said a flustered Bo Stickpan. I couldn’t quite make out what his grunts were all about, but luckily my wife came out and saw the thief through the window.  “That Bigfoot feller saved me from havin’ to buy a new tire and rim,” he said.  “I was goin’ to pitch that toy out into the trash, ’cause it scared the livin’  b’Jesus out of my boy, little Butch.  Now, Bigfoot’s part of our family.”

Latest member of the Stickpan family.

The Stickpans  have agreed to keep the toy and try to learn his language.  “We’ve grown accustomed to Bigfoot,” said Mrs. Stickpan.  “Although we haven’t seen our cat in two weeks.  I guess kitty didn’t like Bigfoot walking through her food bowl.”

Seattle is once again such a happy place.

Clown of the Year Award 2020

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Dr. Claire Poche of the Oregon Health Authority Wins the Coveted Award for the Most Tasteless Video While Reading Covid 19 Deaths

Several officials of the Oregon Health Authority dressed in clown outfits to read the sick and death toll of the week and warn their constituency to beware of Halloween activities.

Dr. Vladimir Spookovsky, lead scientist at the Serbian Institute of Advanced Subliminal Studies in Belgrade, said that he believes the entire video is nothing more than a mind-control experiment to put fear of the virus into the minds of the public. “Dressing up to resemble “The Joker”, the evil clown in Batman, will scare the living daylights out of everyone.  Reading the death rolls and sick statistics is extremely frightening.  This is very advanced subliminal mind control activity, brilliant really.  Then another health person in a weird outfit starts telling kids to avoid regular Halloween activities.  This will cause extreme ongoing trauma in young children.  Even my Russian colleagues at the Moscow Advanced Brain and Brainless Population Research Society were astounded!”

 

Here is the video – NOT TO BE SHOWN TO CHILDREN UNDER 18 YEARS OLD.

The award was given by Charlie Bazooka, of the American Cartoonist and Visual Arsonist Society annual meeting in Lagos, Nigeria.  “It is very well deserved and I congratulate the Oregon Health Authority for their creative and totally tasteless video, which is sure to become a classic and set a high standard that will stand for decades.”

Who Did Big Boy Grow Up To Be?

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World-Wide Speculation on Who Big Boy Became As An Adult?

Was He Andre The Giant, A Famous Wrestler?

Some Think He is Tim Dillon, America’s Funniest Comedian!

Or, Could Big Boy Have Moved To New Zealand and Become The Famous Kim Dotcom, the World’s Greatest Game Hosting Site Owner and Computer Rebel?

Embed from Getty Images

Or None of the Above, Because Cartoon and Comic Book Characters Never Grow Up!!

Contact Us With Your Candidate, Help Us To Solve the Mystery. There’s No Prize, Just the Satisfaction of Educating the World’s Burger Lovers that Big Boy Survives SOMEWHERE because Bob’s is going to REPLACE HIM!!   OMG!!!  WTF!!!  Yes, That’s What We Heard.  So We Hope and Pray that Big Boy Somehow Survived His Gig as a Comic Character and Transitioned to Real Life.  It Would Be The First Time That This Has Happened. Maybe, Just Maybe……When Big Boy Got the Boot From Bob’s, He Said “Enough Of This Comic Book Stuff, I’m Getting Real!”