Shocked Military Chiefs Scramble To Explain Attack

Photo taken by shocked tourist at Pentagon.

A Pentagon spokesman who was the head of the UFO Disinformation Dept., was brutally attacked as he left the Pentagon yesterday.  Witnesses said a gigantic mosquito came out of nowhere and speared the man in the back.  The unidentified man was rushed to Walter Reed Hospital where military doctors worked feverously for 7 hours to stabilize him.  The Chief Medical doctor said the man “has a 50% chance of survival.”

At first, the press thought that the man who was attacked was Pentagon Press Secretary John Kirby, but he was located at a tony bar in D.C., having an after-work cocktail with the top brass.  “We’ll find that mosquito and bring him to justice”, said Kirby.

Eyewitnesses to the attack said the mosquito flew off rapidly and was out of sight in seconds.  One witness described seeing a UFO in the area, but the Pentagon quickly put that rumor to rest by showing a photo of the planet Venus to reporters.  Some reporters wondered if the mosquito had anything to do with the breeding program conducted in near-by Florida by Bill Gates.  The Pentagon declined to speculate on where it came from, although one source said the Gates mosquitos were very small, and there was nothing to see there.  That’s how small they were, almost invisible.  The chance of a mutant giant is considered also small.