by R. J. Johnson

– You know the phrase, Justice is blind? Well, after watching Antonio Villaraigosa call for a vote, I’d say it’s deaf, too.

– Did you see Antonio Villaraigosa at the convention trying to get God back into their platform? Clint Eastwood ain’t looking so bad now, is he?

– Bill Clinton spent 50 minutes talking about what Obama has done during his first term as President. The last time Bill did this much explaining, Hillary got a Senate seat.

– In Thailand, the grandson of the man who created Red Bull was busted for leaving the scene of an accident. You know what the Red Bull grandson was charged with don’t you?

Hit and run and run and run and run and run…

– This weekend, a woman in Pennsylvania said a statue of a 400-pound gorilla had been stolen from her house. Turns out it was there all the time, but no one wanted to admit that a 400 pound gorilla was in the room.

– A group called The Voter Integrity Project said they found 30,000 names of dead people in North Carolina who are still registered to vote. Or as they call that in Chicago, a good start.

– The Democratic Convention had a prayer room and reporters said it was usually empty. Unless Joe Biden was speaking.

And finally….

– At 3:00am on Monday, we had an earthquake in Beverly Hills. It shook so much, husbands actually stopped having sex to go home and check on their wife.