Joke Bombs of the Week

R.J. Johnson

– It’s so hot, Mitt Romney said the sun burned up his old tax returns.

 

– The Obama slogan about looking at the future is, “Yes We Can.” Not to be confused with the Romney slogan about looking at his tax returns, “No You Can’t.”

 

– The Mars rover is called Curiosity and it’s sending photos you can see on your computer. Not to be confused with

a computer page called Bi-Curiosity. That’s a web site with photos about a whole different thing.

 

– Gold medalist Ryan Lochte is handsome. His mom said he likes one-night-stands. And he told reporters that he pees in the swimming pool. Olympics? Sounds more like “The Jersey Shore” to me.

 

– A nudist camp in Florida is holding a weekend bash to attract a younger crowd, like 18-30. Doesn’t Florida already have a big party every year to attract young nudists? It’s called Spring Break, right?

 

– I got an e-mail today from Joe Biden. The bad news?

It was a chain letter.

 

– The economy is so tough on health care, Joe Biden volunteered to be an appendix donor.

 

– According to the Associated Press, people in South Korea are eating dogs because they say it gives them the stamina to beat the heat. One side effect? They start panting and drooling when they’re out in the sun too long.

 

– This is so bad. U.S. judo competitor Nick Delpopolo was expelled from the Olympics after eating a brownie with marijuana. But he said he’ll be back in four years.

His new event? Thai-Stick Kwon Do.

 

– U.S. judo competitor Nick Delpopolo was expelled from the Olympic after eating a brownie containing marijuana. The really strange part? His first match was with Willie Nelson.

 

– A hearse driver in L.A. died while taking a body to a funeral home. The cause of death? Clogged ironies.

 

– You know Joe Biden’s least favorite song, don’t you?

“Chain of Fools.”

 

– Bill Gates is sponsoring a competition to reinvent the toilet. Didn’t he already do that? Wasn’t it called Windows 95?

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