By R.J. Johnson

A doctor in Brazil has been charged with killing hundreds of patients to free up beds at a hospital. It’s so bad, even our HMOs were yelling, “Stop it. Fifty maybe. But not hundreds.”

– The first airplane in over 30 years flew passengers from Egypt to Iran. Call me crazy but I’m betting the in-flight movie was not, “Schindler’s List.” Or “Diary of Anne Frank.”

– A man in Blairsville, Pennsylvania was arrested for allegedly shooting a deer in a Walmart parking lot. His fine? A buck.

– Scientists have invented an implant that calls your smart phone when you’re about to have a heart attack. The reaction from Dick Cheney? “Finally!”

– Sean Penn’s son shoved a photographer. Where did he learn this wild behavior? I for one am shocked.

– In Kansas City, someone at a Conoco service station found a box with two eyeballs in it. Experts on the price of gas said it’s a sign that things are looking up.

And Finally…

– Did you see all the snow back East? It was so white in Washington, Republicans thought they’d gone back to the Reagan Years.