Hugh Hefner<\/p><\/div>\n
Please don’t say you aren’t shocked. \u00a0Playboy Magazine has announced a big make-over of the magazine, including the removal of pictures of nude ladies from the pages of the famous man’s mag. \u00a0These changes are set to take place in the March, 2016 issue. \u00a0Since Playboy began, it made its mark on society, and made founder Hugh Hefner a fortune. \u00a0The big thing that attracted a following over the years has been the nude centerfold. \u00a0If you think that millions of men bought the magazine just to read the articles, then you are seriously deluded. \u00a0The probable reason that Hefner put some articles and written material in the magazine was that he had to.<\/em> \u00a0In the 1950’s publishing “porn” or magazines with only nudes was risky. \u00a0Various state and local authorities were prosecuting publishers for publishing magazines that “had no socially redeeming value.”\u00a0\u00a0Hence the publishers covered themselves with news, fiction, fashion, or other articles. \u00a0Things are a little different now, \u00a0a lot of porn has moved to the internet or dvd rentals.<\/p>\n But I wanted to get to the bottom of the Playboy announcement. \u00a0The magazine has seen its circulation fall the last few years. \u00a0The magazine, always a little elitist, has failed to make big gains with a younger crowd, especially with working class and middle class men. \u00a0Totally removing the nudes from the magazine seemes like they are going in the wrong direction. \u00a0After all, if you want “good” articles, why not read Atlantic, or the New York Review of Books?<\/p>\n Al Goldstein<\/p><\/div>\n The one man who could give me answers to that is dead: porn publisher Al Goldstein. \u00a0He was the King for a while, publishing the sleazy, irreverent\u00a0Screw<\/em>\u00a0magazine and running various other enterprises. \u00a0He was always in Court, fighting for freedom of speech and freedom of expression. \u00a0So I thought I would contact him on the other side. \u00a0Get some answers from the guy who knows what’s happening.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n …Glass of wine…..<\/p>\n …(Self-Hypnotic Trance)…..<\/p>\n …glass of wine….<\/p>\n ….Trance…Taking hold…..<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Hello, Al? \u00a0Al Goldstein?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Yeah, I’m here. \u00a0How are ya, you old putz?<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0OK, Al. \u00a0I hate to bother you, ….you must be busy or something.<\/p>\n Goldstein. \u00a0Yeah, but it’s not what you think, in fact not what anyone could\u00a0ever<\/em>\u00a0think.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0What do you mean? \u00a0Like where are you now? \u00a0If you can say?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Right now I’m down in the hot place,<\/em> but actually the way things worked out I divide my time between the two places..<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Huh? \u00a0How’s that possible? \u00a0I’ve never heard of that before.<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Well, I got sent down here for a light sentence because of some bad things I did.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0You mean some of the Porn stuff?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Naw, some other f*cking stuff. \u00a0So I have to spend four hours every day going to a beginner’s Sunday School. \u00a0And me a Jew. \u00a0I’m f*cking outraged.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0I imagine it could be worse, I mean sitting in a Sunday School class isn’t too bad, is it?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0It is if your sentence is 30,000 years of the sh*t.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Well, what about the rest of the day?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0The other half of my time I work up top with the good guys. \u00a0It’s a big universe, and I’ve actually been appointed a kind of Porn Angel, so to speak.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Porn Angel?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Yeah, well there’s a lot of solar systems in the universe, a lot of planets and a lot of weird people. \u00a0Some of the races on other planets have declining populations, and they needed someone to spur them on, give ’em LUST, get them f*cking again. \u00a0I’m an expert on that, so they hired me.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Wow. \u00a0Sounds like you are able to continue your career.<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Yeah, but the downside is that I can’t participate, you know, I don’t have a physical body anymore. \u00a0In fact, I’m not entirely sure\u00a0who<\/em>\u00a0I’m working for at this job. \u00a0I’d give my left nut to have a dick again…..<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0I see your point. \u00a0Hey, the reason for the call is about the new announcement from\u00a0Playboy<\/em>\u00a0magazine. \u00a0Have you heard about it?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Yeah, I hear about everything. \u00a0There’s always hordes of new jerks inbound here, we pick up rumors pretty fast.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0So what is it, Al? \u00a0Is the staff of\u00a0Playboy<\/em>\u00a0all gay now?<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Naw, and those schmucks don’t have a creative drop of jizz in their bodies. \u00a0This decision is coming right from Hef.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0What? \u00a0Hef?<\/p>\n Feminist Dworkin<\/p><\/div>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Well, sort of. \u00a0Do you remember that radical feminist Andrea Dworkin from the 80s and 90s? She was a big fat woman<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Yeah, the anti-porn crusader.<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0That’s the one. \u00a0Well, Hef is weak. \u00a0I mean the old f*ck is really weak. \u00a0When you get down like that, you’re susceptible to a walk-in.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0A walk-in?<\/p>\n Goldsteirn: \u00a0Yeah, that Andrea woman is a spirit now, she saw that Hef was weak, his defenses down, so she moved right into his body.<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Is that possible?<\/p>\n Goldstein: F*ckin right it’s possible. \u00a0She’s now Hef, controlling him. \u00a0She’s havin’ a f*ckin ball, makin’ him into a laughing stock, taking the nudes out of the mag. \u00a0He’s so weak that his last few girlfriends said that all he does at night is cuddle with his dog and watch old fifties movies. \u00a0He’s done. \u00a0And Andrea is getting her putrid rocks off,- getting her feminist revenge on all the men. \u00a0What a country….<\/p>\n Murray: \u00a0Al, I have to think about this, maybe with a sixpack. \u00a0This is depressing news.<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Well, Ed, as I have said many times, F*CK YOU, F*CK HEF, F*CK ANDREA, in fact,<\/p>\n F*CK EVERYBODY! \u00a0HOPE TO SEE ALL YOU JERKS REAL SOON!<\/p>\n Murray: Al, this time I really mean it: \u00a0Sorry I asked….<\/p>\n Goldstein: \u00a0Uh, yeah, gotto go, Sunday School class starting in a few minutes……<\/p>\n <\/p>\n edmurray1955@aol.com<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ed Murray Channels Al Goldstein Looking For Answers by Ed Murray Dateline: Holmby Hills Please don’t say you aren’t shocked. \u00a0Playboy Magazine has announced a big make-over of the magazine, including the removal of pictures of nude ladies from the … Continue reading ![\"Feminist](\"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/andreadworkin_narrowweb__200x266-112x150.jpg\")