{"id":294,"date":"2013-01-19T19:24:23","date_gmt":"2013-01-19T19:24:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/?p=294"},"modified":"2013-01-31T22:58:47","modified_gmt":"2013-01-31T22:58:47","slug":"the-jokes-of-january","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/?p=294","title":{"rendered":"The Jokes of January"},"content":{"rendered":"<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">The Jokes of January<\/h1>\n<h1 style=\"text-align: center;\">From R.J. Johnson<\/h1>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/?attachment_id=357\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-357\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-thumbnail wp-image-357\" alt=\"Man-Laughing1-197x300\" src=\"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Man-Laughing1-197x300-98x150.jpg\" width=\"98\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Man-Laughing1-197x300-98x150.jpg 98w, http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Man-Laughing1-197x300.jpg 197w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 98px) 100vw, 98px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; I saw \u201cBeasts of the Southern Wild.\u201d Not the movie.<\/p>\n<p>The main ingredient in the McRib sandwich.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; <em>In Maricopa, Arizona a three-year-old boy saved his mother\u2019s life by waking her up during a fire at their home. Good luck trying to get this kid to go to bed at night. \u201cRemember the flames that didn\u2019t kill you? Hello?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Politicians are talking about minting a trillion dollar coin so they can continue to spend your tax money. The coin has a simple design. Heads you lose. Tails you lose.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;<em> The symptoms of the flu are headaches, nausea, vomiting and telling people you want to just sleep and be left alone. Which is also what Hugh Hefner\u2019s bride told him on their honeymoon, if I\u2019m not mistaken.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And finally&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; KFC apologized to customers in China because of certain chemicals in their chickens that might be a health problem.<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, we\u2019re still waiting for an apology from China for all that poisoned toothpaste and drywall they sent over here, so things kind of even out.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Jokes of January From R.J. Johnson &#8211; I saw \u201cBeasts of the Southern Wild.\u201d Not the movie. The main ingredient in the McRib sandwich. &nbsp; &#8211; In Maricopa, Arizona a three-year-old boy saved his mother\u2019s life by waking her &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/?p=294\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[20],"tags":[89,96,99,98,97],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=294"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":360,"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294\/revisions\/360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/cartoonbazooka.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}