Tag Archives: Jokes

Explosive Jokes From September 10 Bazooka

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by R. J. Johnson

– You know the phrase, Justice is blind? Well, after watching Antonio Villaraigosa call for a vote, I’d say it’s deaf, too.

– Did you see Antonio Villaraigosa at the convention trying to get God back into their platform? Clint Eastwood ain’t looking so bad now, is he?

– Bill Clinton spent 50 minutes talking about what Obama has done during his first term as President. The last time Bill did this much explaining, Hillary got a Senate seat.

– In Thailand, the grandson of the man who created Red Bull was busted for leaving the scene of an accident. You know what the Red Bull grandson was charged with don’t you?

Hit and run and run and run and run and run…

– This weekend, a woman in Pennsylvania said a statue of a 400-pound gorilla had been stolen from her house. Turns out it was there all the time, but no one wanted to admit that a 400 pound gorilla was in the room.

– A group called The Voter Integrity Project said they found 30,000 names of dead people in North Carolina who are still registered to vote. Or as they call that in Chicago, a good start.

– The Democratic Convention had a prayer room and reporters said it was usually empty. Unless Joe Biden was speaking.

And finally….

– At 3:00am on Monday, we had an earthquake in Beverly Hills. It shook so much, husbands actually stopped having sex to go home and check on their wife.

 

 

 

Bazooka Pops for Labor Day

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Hey, it’s a Holiday week-end.  Sit back, relax, have a few laughs, here’s the Latest from R.J. Johnson!

 

1) According to Reuters, Vladimir Putin has 20 homes, 4 yachts, 58 planes & 700 cars. Or as Mitt Romney calls that, “A good start.”

 

4) Snooki’s baby already took his first steps…to a liquor store for cigarettes.

 

3) I’m not saying Snooki is a party girl but her delivery started when her wine broke.

 

4) Actually, experts said Clint Eastwood made a great point.

This is what Obama would sound like without his teleprompter.

 

 

5) The price of gas went up faster than Prince Harry’s pants when he had to meet the Queen.

 

 

2) The latest craze for girls is what they call Model Camp.

But model camp is not all work. At night, they sit around the camp fire roasting sticks.

 

 

4) Naked pictures of Prince Harry? Bad. Naked pictures of his stepmother Camilla Bowles? Criminal.

 

1) According to a new book called “Understanding Asexuality,” 1% of the population is asexual and they feel absolutely no sexual attraction to other people. Actually, they just had their big convention, Comic-Con.

 

I saw the film “The Odd Life of Timothy Green.” It’s where a couple buries a list of what they want in a child, it rains and the next morning a 10-year-old boy shows up at their door. It’s like if Angelina Jolie had a Chia Pet.

 

 

ABC has a new show called “666 Park Ave” where you can get everything you desire in New York for a price. Except a cab if you’re black.

 

 

1) I saw the film “The Odd Life of Timothy Green.” It’s where a couple writes a list of what they want in a child, they bury the list in their garden and the next morning a 10-year-old boy shows up at their door. Which is also how the Amish explain the facts of life, if I’m not mistaken.

 

 

3) Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan hired Clint Eastwood. Not to make a movie. To keep kids off their lawn while they’re on the campaign trail.